MaxedOutMama
Monday, April 04, 2005
Self-Esteem Run Amok
Sigmund, Carl and Alfred has written a really funny tale of dire dating disaster, and challenged others to come up with their own tales of woe and leave a message here. Who knows, maybe there will be voting and some sort of prize? Or perhaps a victory by acclamation and a tasteful trophy? Go for it.
Unfortunately, I really don't have any tales of dating woe. I credit my mother's good advice for this. "Always," she told me when I was quite young, "date men you really like. That way if you get pregnant, you won't be stuck with a child who shares the traits of a man you didn't really get along with in the first place." Good advice, and it curtailed my social life drastically. There is something about taking the long view that does that.
After much racking of my brains, the closest thing I can come up with is this story, which is very far from being a dating story:
Update: Here's a blogger who took the challenge and came up with marriage advice! Good marriage advice!
Unfortunately, I really don't have any tales of dating woe. I credit my mother's good advice for this. "Always," she told me when I was quite young, "date men you really like. That way if you get pregnant, you won't be stuck with a child who shares the traits of a man you didn't really get along with in the first place." Good advice, and it curtailed my social life drastically. There is something about taking the long view that does that.
After much racking of my brains, the closest thing I can come up with is this story, which is very far from being a dating story:
At the company where I work, a few years ago one of the other employees started following me around and telling me that he loved me. Since I am extremely settled this was hardly welcome, and since he is the owner's brother, simply tossing a cup of hot coffee on his crotch seemed impolitic. Anyway, I really didn't want to do that, because he is a nice guy except for this character flaw. But all less drastic forms of discouragement did not work.
I would have been less bothered and disturbed if he hadn't been married, but he was and is. Firm dissuasion, quiet discouragement, loud "stop its" and all my best behavioral modification techniques made no impression. The more rejecting I got the more it escalated. After a few months of that he started asking me to marry him most days. I made sure that some of these comments were made in the presence of his sister, thinking she would take care of the problem, but no dice.
I used my best drill sergeant imitation and told him to stop it, and my best drill sergeant imitation is superb. Really superb. It cows everyone. I could probably reduce the Queen of England to twitching subjection with it. Still, the next day he would be back at it. These country boys are tough.
I was baffled, because I don't fool around and I'm hardly beautiful. Now, I'm not going to come right out and tell you that I'm dog-butt ugly, because no woman ever says that about herself and it's probably not quite that bad, but I am hardly in the running as a home-wrecker. Nor do I wear revealing clothes and let it all hang out. Nor was I encouraging him in any way. Finally I actually prayed for a solution.
A week later, his truck broke down and his wife came to pick him up at work. He waved to me as they pulled away, and an evil inspiration exploded within my skull like an atomic bomb. I blew a kiss to him. A long, sweeping, dramatic kiss. And yes, his wife saw it. And yes, he is a much chastened man. These days he walks the strait and narrow path of married virtue.
There is no moral to this story, I think, except don't mess with me. I am most dangerous when desperate.
Update: Here's a blogger who took the challenge and came up with marriage advice! Good marriage advice!
Comments:
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It never ceases to amaze what people will do. Now matter how stupid you think they are, someone will always step up to the plate and show you they are just a little more stupid than that. Good response and thanks for the link.
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