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Monday, July 03, 2006

Scorpion In The Bathtub

So, this morning a scorpion showed up in my bathtub. In some areas in South GA we do have scorpions. One o those areas is my house. I have found them in the sink, in the dryer and in the living room. This is the first one to show up in the bathroom, though.

The scorpion did not seem pleased to see me, either. It glowered and waved its tail around, and then it tried to climb out of the bathtub and attack me. Oh, sure, I can almost hear some wacky environut muttering that it was trying to escape. Suuuuuuuuuuuure. You did not see its menacing stance and the fact that came towards me, brandishing its claws and waving its tail. The stinger is in the tail.

I refused to take a shower, although the shower and the bathtub are separate, because the scorpion looked like it might succeed in getting out of the bathtub. It was using its tail like a spring thing to hike itself a good way up the bathtub wall, and on one end of the bathtub there are some sort of shelf thingies. Sooner or later it was going to find those. It looked to be almost three inches long. Three venemous inches of determined malice.

You have to close your eyes when you take a shower, right? You know, to avoid the soap and the shampoo from getting in them? The thing could have attacked at any time, or that was my theory.

So instead of taking a shower I made a dignified retreat and beseeched Chief No-Nag to go and do something manly about the situation. He laughed. It is hard to maintain your dignity in the face of No-Nagian laughter, so I made a dignified retreat to the office. It better be gone when I come home, that's all I can say.

PS: In case y'all are scorpion skeptics, see this GA outdoor forum thread. At least I don't wear boxers:
I got out of the shower one night and grabbed a pair boxers outta the drawer and climbed in bed. You all know where this is going, anyway my wife said I looked like michael jackson the way I was dancing around the bedroom!

I finally figured out, with the help of a county extension agent, (them fellers is smart) that my 2 years worth of firewood piled up next to the house and pine straw mulch was prime breeding ground.

After removing these, and a throwing out a pretty good dose of diazanon granules, I quit sleeping necked'.
HawHAWHAWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! But we have no brush or anything near the house because of snakes. (In south GA, the wise thing to do is build an off-the-ground rack for your firewood. Otherwise getting firewood can become a real adventure between scorpions, ants and most of all, the snakes.) Snake bite is not a theoretical hazard in my neck of the woods. Two of our neighbors lost dogs to snakebite within the last year.
They crawl on use in the bed at night. We have learned that when you feel something crawling get up and turn on the light before swinging and swatting. If you hit it in the dark and make it mad it can ruin your night.
Mine was already mad. If you get stung by one you can get a huge swelling. It depends how big they are. It's dry now, which is why they are coming in the house more. But at least my problem isn't this bad:
any experts out there??..........this time of year, they seem to literally be coming out of the woodwork............killed 4 last night in the girlfriends house...........anybody know why they are so active this time of year??
I think I'd move.

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