MaxedOutMama
Friday, September 24, 2004
Comments Already?!
Whoa, baby. I was surprised to find a comment in response to my post about men. A very sensible one, too.
Lumberjack Eric couldn't sleep and took me to task:
"Interesting post on Men and Dan Rather. I have to politely disagree with your main point though, about men lacking perspective in lieu of tractors/type machines/etc. Although I agree that there are a lot of guys like this out there, there are an equal number of women who forgo perspective in obsessing over 'female' obsessions--clothes, jewelry, other stereotypically feminine items, etc."
This is a very logical reply, but after thinking it over I think it basically proves my point. When you average it out, there is something different about men and women. I'm not talking about disfunctional people now - no statement really holds true for those who are mentally orbiting the planet. Both my original post and this one refer to persons who inhabit the vast space of the normal and have some contact with planet earth.
Plenty of women have hobbies. Plenty of women shop for things. Women will go to extremes, such as Imelda's collection of shoes. However, most women seem to acquire things while still maintaining a concept of the rest of their world (i.e. do I have a place to put this in?), while men, when possessed by the acquisitive fury, don't even seem to know there is a rest of the world. Their world has narrowed down to the pursuit of that one entrancing object.
A women, for instance, might not need that tenth little black dress. If she buys it, though, it will end up hanging in a closet. There's almost an instinct to place it in the context of her life. If she gets a new oven or dishwasher, she will have the delivery guy take the old one with him. Not a guy. No, he will probably keep the old dishwasher, for some reason which escapes me.
If she assembles a collection of several hundred earrings, they will be arranged in jewelry boxes in her closet or bureau. A man will acquire a large hunk of rusty metal and deposit it in the middle of the living room to contemplate its glory, where it will rest in its place of honor until some women removes it, or the landlord evicts him, or it is covered over by the succeeding layers of acquisitive frenzy. Many such men have found themselves wandering in a sea of metal, looking for one particularly valuable thing that rests somewhere inside their own archaelogical midden.
These are normal men, too. Better than normal, really. All the people I was thinking about when I posted the original entry are fine, admirable, decent people. The man who has hundreds of tractors sitting on his farm is very intelligent and honorable. He raised his first wife's two boys from a preceding marriage, and has become the guardian for the daughter of his current wife's sister, who died very unexpectedly a few years ago. He was quite successful in business, employing a number of people, and has a well-earned reputation for honesty and integrity. By any reasonable standard, this man has not lived a wasted life.
My point really is that a woman who engaged in the type of behavior these guys show would be somewhat abnormal, whereas these men aren't. They get more and more involved with the objects of their desire, and often end up knowing an astonishing amount about them. There's a depth and quality to their obsessions that is interesting in itself. I guarantee you, for instance, that if somehow some detail about tractors of the 40's or 50's ever becomes nationally important, there will be a few hundred guys who will emerge from the shadows to testify with great authority on the subject - and we all will be able to rely on their testimony.
The draw for men seems to be that the object itself relates to a larger technology. I'm not sure that these types of men don't relate emotionally and cognitively to the larger world through their purchases. If you ask a man about the 39 chain saws in his garage, you'll find that he can tell you masses of information about them, and what year such and such type of engine started to be built, and which manufacturer was responsible for which engineering innovation. For these men, their collections aren't an escape from reality - they are a doorway to it. Buying these items and lovingly preserving them is an attempt to capture that aspect of society or technology, or so it seems to me.
Lumberjack Eric couldn't sleep and took me to task:
"Interesting post on Men and Dan Rather. I have to politely disagree with your main point though, about men lacking perspective in lieu of tractors/type machines/etc. Although I agree that there are a lot of guys like this out there, there are an equal number of women who forgo perspective in obsessing over 'female' obsessions--clothes, jewelry, other stereotypically feminine items, etc."
This is a very logical reply, but after thinking it over I think it basically proves my point. When you average it out, there is something different about men and women. I'm not talking about disfunctional people now - no statement really holds true for those who are mentally orbiting the planet. Both my original post and this one refer to persons who inhabit the vast space of the normal and have some contact with planet earth.
Plenty of women have hobbies. Plenty of women shop for things. Women will go to extremes, such as Imelda's collection of shoes. However, most women seem to acquire things while still maintaining a concept of the rest of their world (i.e. do I have a place to put this in?), while men, when possessed by the acquisitive fury, don't even seem to know there is a rest of the world. Their world has narrowed down to the pursuit of that one entrancing object.
A women, for instance, might not need that tenth little black dress. If she buys it, though, it will end up hanging in a closet. There's almost an instinct to place it in the context of her life. If she gets a new oven or dishwasher, she will have the delivery guy take the old one with him. Not a guy. No, he will probably keep the old dishwasher, for some reason which escapes me.
If she assembles a collection of several hundred earrings, they will be arranged in jewelry boxes in her closet or bureau. A man will acquire a large hunk of rusty metal and deposit it in the middle of the living room to contemplate its glory, where it will rest in its place of honor until some women removes it, or the landlord evicts him, or it is covered over by the succeeding layers of acquisitive frenzy. Many such men have found themselves wandering in a sea of metal, looking for one particularly valuable thing that rests somewhere inside their own archaelogical midden.
These are normal men, too. Better than normal, really. All the people I was thinking about when I posted the original entry are fine, admirable, decent people. The man who has hundreds of tractors sitting on his farm is very intelligent and honorable. He raised his first wife's two boys from a preceding marriage, and has become the guardian for the daughter of his current wife's sister, who died very unexpectedly a few years ago. He was quite successful in business, employing a number of people, and has a well-earned reputation for honesty and integrity. By any reasonable standard, this man has not lived a wasted life.
My point really is that a woman who engaged in the type of behavior these guys show would be somewhat abnormal, whereas these men aren't. They get more and more involved with the objects of their desire, and often end up knowing an astonishing amount about them. There's a depth and quality to their obsessions that is interesting in itself. I guarantee you, for instance, that if somehow some detail about tractors of the 40's or 50's ever becomes nationally important, there will be a few hundred guys who will emerge from the shadows to testify with great authority on the subject - and we all will be able to rely on their testimony.
The draw for men seems to be that the object itself relates to a larger technology. I'm not sure that these types of men don't relate emotionally and cognitively to the larger world through their purchases. If you ask a man about the 39 chain saws in his garage, you'll find that he can tell you masses of information about them, and what year such and such type of engine started to be built, and which manufacturer was responsible for which engineering innovation. For these men, their collections aren't an escape from reality - they are a doorway to it. Buying these items and lovingly preserving them is an attempt to capture that aspect of society or technology, or so it seems to me.
