MaxedOutMama
Monday, September 27, 2004
Political Jokes!
A Slip Of The Tongue:
Bush wins the election. He and Cheney are having lunch at a diner near the White House. Cheney orders the "Heart-Healthy" salad. Bush leans over to the waitress and says "Honey, could I have a quickie?"
She's horrified! She says, "Mr. President, I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see I was wrong and I'm sorry I voted for you," and she marches off.
Cheney leans over and says, "George, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE.'"
Doin' My Level Best:
Cheney gets a call from his "boss", George. "I've got a problem," says George.
"What's the matter?" asks Cheney.
"Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney.
"A big rooster," replies George.
"All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look." So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. George points at the jigsaw on his desk. Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to George and says, "For crying out loud, Georgie - put the corn flakes back in the box."
How Dare You!
How can you Repugs say that John Kerry has no record to run on? He said he'll work to keep nuclear weapons out of the world's most dangerous and volatile hands, and he did just that when he beat Howard Dean for the Democratic nomination!
No Regrets:
In the name of bipartisanship, Bill Clinton invited John Kerry and George W. Bush out for an evening at his club. A very beautiful girl in a very short skirt arrived at their table to take their drink orders, smiling warmly.
Bill sighed deeply and said, "Honey, if I'd met you before I'd won the election, I'd never have looked twice at Monica. I'll have a whisky sour."
John sighed deeply and said, "Cherie, if I'd met you before I met Teresa, I wouldn't be the Democratic nominee for president today. Bring me your wine list, please."
George smiled back at her and said, "Darlin', you're almost as beautiful as my wife, and that's saying something! Could you let me have a glass of water?"
Bush wins the election. He and Cheney are having lunch at a diner near the White House. Cheney orders the "Heart-Healthy" salad. Bush leans over to the waitress and says "Honey, could I have a quickie?"
She's horrified! She says, "Mr. President, I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see I was wrong and I'm sorry I voted for you," and she marches off.
Cheney leans over and says, "George, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE.'"
Doin' My Level Best:
Cheney gets a call from his "boss", George. "I've got a problem," says George.
"What's the matter?" asks Cheney.
"Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney.
"A big rooster," replies George.
"All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look." So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. George points at the jigsaw on his desk. Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to George and says, "For crying out loud, Georgie - put the corn flakes back in the box."
How Dare You!
How can you Repugs say that John Kerry has no record to run on? He said he'll work to keep nuclear weapons out of the world's most dangerous and volatile hands, and he did just that when he beat Howard Dean for the Democratic nomination!
No Regrets:
In the name of bipartisanship, Bill Clinton invited John Kerry and George W. Bush out for an evening at his club. A very beautiful girl in a very short skirt arrived at their table to take their drink orders, smiling warmly.
Bill sighed deeply and said, "Honey, if I'd met you before I'd won the election, I'd never have looked twice at Monica. I'll have a whisky sour."
John sighed deeply and said, "Cherie, if I'd met you before I met Teresa, I wouldn't be the Democratic nominee for president today. Bring me your wine list, please."
George smiled back at her and said, "Darlin', you're almost as beautiful as my wife, and that's saying something! Could you let me have a glass of water?"
