MaxedOutMama
Friday, January 28, 2005
Losing Our Religion
Sniff. Whimper. Dr. Sanity serves notice; the era of self-esteem is now over. You want to read the whole post, but here is her conclusion:
A movement that started out emphasizing women's strength, competence and flexibility ended up frantically espousing the idea that a woman's entire career could be destroyed because she noticed a man at her workplace staring at her chest, making her feel bad, and thereby creating a hostile environment. All of that was going on while breast enhancement surgery became one of the most common cosmetic medical procedures and women's magazines discussed how to get really, really inventive in bed "to give him a night he'll never forget".
Nipped and tucked and surgically enhanced, many a woman stalks daintily through the corporate halls of power just waiting for that one moment that a man succumbs to nature and stares openly at her wares. Then she will strike back against the patriarchy! That is, unless she wants to go out with him and he doesn't show any interest. Then he's a lout who is looking for a superficial woman who will cater to his chauvinism.
Let's not kid ourselves. If sexual preference really was optional, at least a third of the men in America would now be homosexuals. It's the safer option.
The pop-psychology that promulgated the widespread belief that if you nurture kid's self-esteem neglected to mention that if the sense of self was already damaged, all you managed to do was to create a narcissistic monster...it was a waste of time and money--as this article reports. If the 19th century was the age of hysteria (and basically, Freud was responding to the excessive sexual repression present in that century); then the 20th was the age of narcissism. In this new century, that narcissism seems to be morphing into an even more malignant sociopathy that pervades society and impacts almost all our social, political, and educational institutions.I also blame the wackier elements in feminism.
Our cultural focus on enhancing "self-esteem" has resulted in the near-worship of emotions and feelings at the expense of reason and thought; on emphasizing "root causes" and victimhood, instead of demanding that behavior be civilized and that individuals exert self-discipline and self-control--no matter what they are "feeling".
A movement that started out emphasizing women's strength, competence and flexibility ended up frantically espousing the idea that a woman's entire career could be destroyed because she noticed a man at her workplace staring at her chest, making her feel bad, and thereby creating a hostile environment. All of that was going on while breast enhancement surgery became one of the most common cosmetic medical procedures and women's magazines discussed how to get really, really inventive in bed "to give him a night he'll never forget".
Nipped and tucked and surgically enhanced, many a woman stalks daintily through the corporate halls of power just waiting for that one moment that a man succumbs to nature and stares openly at her wares. Then she will strike back against the patriarchy! That is, unless she wants to go out with him and he doesn't show any interest. Then he's a lout who is looking for a superficial woman who will cater to his chauvinism.
Let's not kid ourselves. If sexual preference really was optional, at least a third of the men in America would now be homosexuals. It's the safer option.
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OMG...."is sexual preference were a choice..." Yes! If it were a choice then more men might be gay. Living with women is a trial from God.
Do you know why men are called dogs? Because we are. How do you keep a dog happy? Make sure he is well fed and show him tons of affection. Do that and he will kill for you.
But smack him on the nose with a rolled up paper just once and he is going to dig out from underneath the fence and get his food and petting somewhere else.
Do you know why men are called dogs? Because we are. How do you keep a dog happy? Make sure he is well fed and show him tons of affection. Do that and he will kill for you.
But smack him on the nose with a rolled up paper just once and he is going to dig out from underneath the fence and get his food and petting somewhere else.
Kender,
And living with men is too....
Not that I'm not laughing. Men do need attention and approval. I think it takes far more than one smack on the nose to drive most of them away. It's usually only after a concerted and consistent series of smacks that the man realizes there is no set of rules by which he can get approval. Shortly thereafter, he jumps the fence.
I know it's a very small segment of feminist thought, but the vast patriarchal conspiracy theory bit seems to be pernicious once a woman buys into it. If you take as axiomatic that men are responsible for all that's wrong and bad in society and therefore men need to change, it's only another small step to being sure that one particular man needs to change.
Next thing you know, you've developed the habit of thinking that if you feel bad it's because of the person who's closest to you "not meeting your needs". You don't stop to think about his needs because after all, men need to change! This man is just one small cog in the the vast and unjust system that is currently plaguing you, and look - he's doing the same thing as ALL THE REST OF THEM!
So one day when you come home from work after a particularly bad day in a bad week and find his dirty running shoes sitting in the living room next to the couch, you just blow your top. Look! He's expecting you to be his MAID, on top of everything else you have to do! And he got home from work earlier than you did! Enough is enough! You are done with encountering the patriarchy's muddy shoes next to YOUR coffee table on YOUR freshly shampooed rug!
You forget that when you first met him he always used to leave his running shoes next to the sofa in his apartment, and that the problem is that he sees no reason to put them in the closet. This way he always knows where to find them. In fact, you forget that when you met him half his wardrobe used to live on the sofa, because that way he always knew what was clean.
So when the patriarchy walks through the door with the takeout you blast him for being an irresponsible selfish pig who leaves you to do all the work and then you continue to sulk all the way through the sweet and sour soup.
Ten years later, you have proved to yourself that all men are scum, because you've never met one worth a hoot - they're all selfish and uncaring. So now you're doomed to spend the rest of your life watching Lifetime movies with your other embittered friends and having impassioned discussions about how men are useless.
As soon as anyone stops taking responsibility for their own condition where they can, they start losing the battle of life. No one else can help you fight your own demons if you're not even willing to look them in the face. And something about this one school of feminist thought seems almost designed to prevent a woman from doing that.
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And living with men is too....
Not that I'm not laughing. Men do need attention and approval. I think it takes far more than one smack on the nose to drive most of them away. It's usually only after a concerted and consistent series of smacks that the man realizes there is no set of rules by which he can get approval. Shortly thereafter, he jumps the fence.
I know it's a very small segment of feminist thought, but the vast patriarchal conspiracy theory bit seems to be pernicious once a woman buys into it. If you take as axiomatic that men are responsible for all that's wrong and bad in society and therefore men need to change, it's only another small step to being sure that one particular man needs to change.
Next thing you know, you've developed the habit of thinking that if you feel bad it's because of the person who's closest to you "not meeting your needs". You don't stop to think about his needs because after all, men need to change! This man is just one small cog in the the vast and unjust system that is currently plaguing you, and look - he's doing the same thing as ALL THE REST OF THEM!
So one day when you come home from work after a particularly bad day in a bad week and find his dirty running shoes sitting in the living room next to the couch, you just blow your top. Look! He's expecting you to be his MAID, on top of everything else you have to do! And he got home from work earlier than you did! Enough is enough! You are done with encountering the patriarchy's muddy shoes next to YOUR coffee table on YOUR freshly shampooed rug!
You forget that when you first met him he always used to leave his running shoes next to the sofa in his apartment, and that the problem is that he sees no reason to put them in the closet. This way he always knows where to find them. In fact, you forget that when you met him half his wardrobe used to live on the sofa, because that way he always knew what was clean.
So when the patriarchy walks through the door with the takeout you blast him for being an irresponsible selfish pig who leaves you to do all the work and then you continue to sulk all the way through the sweet and sour soup.
Ten years later, you have proved to yourself that all men are scum, because you've never met one worth a hoot - they're all selfish and uncaring. So now you're doomed to spend the rest of your life watching Lifetime movies with your other embittered friends and having impassioned discussions about how men are useless.
As soon as anyone stops taking responsibility for their own condition where they can, they start losing the battle of life. No one else can help you fight your own demons if you're not even willing to look them in the face. And something about this one school of feminist thought seems almost designed to prevent a woman from doing that.
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