MaxedOutMama
Monday, February 28, 2005
Wackily There
Given that my temperature is once again back up above 102, the title of this post describes me as well as the content. Check this out. It begins well:
So I am going to have to try that bizarre medical advice of staying in bed, drinking lots of fluids, a.k.a. not going to work, and that is what I have been doing since Sunday, a period of time subjectively equal to that required for the creation of the universe. And in fact, I report proudly, the only periods of time I have spent upright are those in which I am consuming buckets of water and coughing. So for all of you who are leaving rational comments, thank you, and some day when I am rational I will reply. For now I am just reading admiringly and thinking "wow, rational people!" while keeping a worried eye out for enraged badgers. They are getting closer.
Also, I should report that I found the link to the blog containing the above piece of inspired wackiness at The Conservative Cat.
I would like to take this opportunity to bring to light one of the greatest atrocities that has befallen a fellow member of the animal kingdom; an outrage that makes me ashamed to be associated with humankind. In fact, because of this wrongdoing, I do hereby revoke my membership to the human race. From now on, I am a ferret.It continues on in the same vein:
I ventured over to Discovery.com following a misleading link to frolicking vixens. I‘ve never been to their website, but I often enjoy watching their programming on cable where cute, cuddly little furry woodland creatures are viciously attacked and eaten by badgers. What they don’t show you, of course, is the animal trainer off-camera dressed in a rabbit costume working the badgers into a frenzy by singing off key, smacking them around and reading anti-badger literature to them, until finally he is given a cue to release the badgers onto the unsuspecting friendly animals of the forest.By the end one is just wondering helplessly how long this can go on? And that is my condition, because I'm pretty sure that this is the third consecutive flu-ridden week, and I am now definitely sicker than ever. Sunday I was considering going to the hospital on the off-chance that they have instituted a mercy-killing clinic, but Chief No-Nag had read the Sunday paper, which reported 11 deaths from flu at a 63 bed local hospital, and nixed it. You just can't count on anyone these days.
So I am going to have to try that bizarre medical advice of staying in bed, drinking lots of fluids, a.k.a. not going to work, and that is what I have been doing since Sunday, a period of time subjectively equal to that required for the creation of the universe. And in fact, I report proudly, the only periods of time I have spent upright are those in which I am consuming buckets of water and coughing. So for all of you who are leaving rational comments, thank you, and some day when I am rational I will reply. For now I am just reading admiringly and thinking "wow, rational people!" while keeping a worried eye out for enraged badgers. They are getting closer.
Also, I should report that I found the link to the blog containing the above piece of inspired wackiness at The Conservative Cat.
Comments:
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Yes, of course, or I wouldn't have linked to it. You are very strange, and I say that in an admiring tone. I laughed. Laughter is a good thing.
Thanks.
Feel free to quote me as often as you'd like, I could use the exposure!
I'm just a slimy mollusc over on TLB!
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Feel free to quote me as often as you'd like, I could use the exposure!
I'm just a slimy mollusc over on TLB!
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