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Friday, April 08, 2005

Who Could Resist?

I just swooned, barely even making it to my fainting couch, over this heart-palpitating announcement by my favorite college newspaper online! The Daily Vanguard at Portland State University presents the Portland State Feminisms Conference - and it is free with your student ID.

Free - say that reverently. I could certainly pick a student ID up around campus with little problem, and not much wailing from the student I would relieve of that heavy burden. And better yet, the lunches on Saturday will be only $5.00, and for that you get your epicurean choice of vegan, vegetarian or gluten-free!

It almost, but not quite, makes me want to reconsider my previous plans to spend Saturday cleaning and just hop on a plane heading for Portland. Should I really torture myself by missing all these wise feminisms? True, I have already missed the chance to mingle with the reknowned author of "Cunt: A Declaration Of Independence", and possibly to even buy a signed copy at an extremely reasonable price. (And to think I remember the days of yore, when feminism was all about reminding the patriarchy that there was more to women than genital endowments. Amazing the progress we have made, and clearly I need to catch up with things. I strongly suspect that catching up at Portland State means junking the patriarchy altogether and taking up with the matriarchy.)

I could make it in time for the thrilling program on Saturday:
The day continues with a variety of workshops including "Women and Media" presented by Amanda Byron, "Native American Oral Tradition" led by Judy Bluehorse Skeleton, "Put the Fun Back in Sex" instructed by It's My Pleasure (a women-friendly adult store on Northeast Sandy Boulevard) and a reading by local poet Turiya Autry of Good Sista/Bad Sista. Many other workshops and panel discussions will be offered throughout the day.
Hmm. It's a difficult choice. Scrub the kitchen floor and really get the bathroom sparkly clean - or learn all about putting the fun back in sex and those interesting oral Native American traditions? The thing is, I conquered the sex thing with men a long time ago, and I'm not interested in the sex thing with women, and the bathroom and the kitchen need work. Plus, I have a sneaking suspicion that there will not be any hunky college guys there.

And you know, I have several good lesbian friends, and they are resoundingly critical of the vegan cuisine offered at such occasions. I can see why hot dogs would not be an appropriate offering, but would it kill them to offer hamburgers? A chicken patty?

That settles it - call me Betty Crocker. The cleaning it is. And then I'll cook a steak for dinner, just for solidarity with my sisters pecking sadly away at their vegan, gluten-free lunches. Although usually I make Chief No Nag do the cooking, because he sure doesn't do the cleaning ... but I'm strong enough to be generous, just this once. This once.


Comments:
There are fifty gazillion good reasons to come to Portland - and we won't even make you eat gluten free and/or vegan food.

I might be able to scare up some hunky college guys to boot...

Come on down...!
 
Well, all I need is hunky guys scenery-wise, because I'm not in the market....

I never have been to the northwest, and I'd like to, just so long as I'm not forced to eat gluten-free vegan food.

Shouldn't that be come on up? I'm sure it will look even more tempting as the temps here cross into the 90's at the end of April or the beginning of May.
 
I'd love to visit the NW, too. We ought to make our own wise-woman club :) -in a way we have the platform on our blogs... WWU: Wise Women United or Whoooo! ( or is theat whew?)

Before I go- gluten-free veg food can be kinda good. I had some sort of pot pie the other day Amy-something brand, but then I piled it with salsa, so who knows what it really tastes like?
 
Ilona, in my experience salsa helps everything. I would probably happily eat old shoe soles if they were heaped with enough salsa.

And I know that some people do need gluten free food. I just wonder - no wheat, no meat, what's left? But if they had described the lunches as vegan with salsa, I probably would find it more inviting.
 
Oh and it would definitely be "wwwwwwuuuuuuu". We could meet on street corners and softly go "wwwuuuuuu" at all the hunky guys wandering by. I'm sure they would be terrified!
 
"no wheat, no meat, what's left?"

Chocolate! But I doubt that's what they are serving.

Finally I can leave a comment and not sound like (much of) an idiot. . .
 
Chocolate! Why didn't I think of that?

I could do with a politically correct diet composed of chocolate. Dark chocolate is supposed to have some really healthy something-or-others in it. Dark chocolate, my favorite.

Okay, the official food served at electronic gatherings of WWU will be chocolate. Delicious scads of chocolate. This could be the making of a highly successful movement, Carson!
 
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