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Thursday, June 30, 2005

Now I Get It!

With the assistance of Wikipedia, (thanks to IMAO) I now understand why Tom Cruise hates and distrusts psychiatrists! It's because they helped Xenu:
75 million years ago, Xenu was the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets including Earth, which was then known as Teegeeack. The planets were overpopulated, each having on average 178 billion people. The Galactic Confederacy's civilization was comparable to our own, with people "walking around in clothes which looked very remarkably like the clothes they wear this very minute" and using cars, trains and boats looking exactly the same as those "circa 1950, 1960" on Earth.

Xenu was about to be deposed from power, so he devised a plot to eliminate the excess population from his dominions. With the assistance of "renegades", he defeated the populace and the "Loyal Officers", a force for good that was opposed to Xenu. Then, with the assistance of psychiatrists, he summoned billions of people to paralyse them with injections of alcohol and glycol, under the pretense that they were being called for "income tax inspections."
(Got that? If you get called for an income tax audit, and they have a psychiatrist standing by, bolt for the door screaming "Xenu! Xenu!" as loudly as you can. I'll bet Tom Cruise really, really hates income tax audits too.) But back to Xenu, that cold-hearted evil Ming-like person, who loaded these billions of people onto big planes which flew through space and came to Earth. Cleverly and efficiently stacking all the paralyzed people around volcanoes, Ming-Xenu dropped hydrogen bombs into the volcanoes and blew everyone up, although he did not stop to gloat and explain his entire plan to James Bond, which is the normal mistake an arch-villain makes. Take heed, all ye would-be arch-villains - don't explain - just hit the detonator before James Bond wakes up!

So the series had been cancelled, which had caused the scriptwriter on this one to take the series out with a bang. But last minute funding for another season came in, leaving the scriptwriter in quite a fix with all the main characters dead. However, El-Ron realized he could count on the evil inventiveness and sheer ruthlessness of Minglike-emperors. Heartlessly, Ming-Xenu gathered the ghosts of all of these people and made them watch bad movies for days upon days, to propagandize them. The horror! The horror! This could explain a lot about Hollywood, couldn't it?

By the way - the propagandized ghosts of those people are still haunting earthlings today, and if you agree to give large, large sums of money to some Scientologist unit and tell someone all your secrets, you can be freed of these ghosts, which will lead to a life of a great something or other during which you will rant hysterically in public about things of which Scientologists disapprove. And once you tell the Scientologists all your secrets, my guess is you will slink off quietly if you ever become disillusioned.

You can't accomplish this without the Scientologists, because you will get physically diseased or go bug-nuts if you try, which will serve you right for ignoring the true faith of Scientology. Even the great El-Ron himself found it incredibly difficult to recover the memory of the above story (evil emperor Ming, volcanoes, malevolent ghosts), and it is imperative, absolutely imperative, that you not attempt this on your own:
According to Hubbard, his research was achieved at the cost of a broken back, knee and arm. OT III contains a warning that the R6 implant is "calculated to kill (by pneumonia etc) anyone who attempts to solve it."
Heeeheee. Good old El-Ron was reputed to do a lot of drugs. A LOT of drugs. I guess he had developed severe writer's block by that time and needed the drugs to break through, because frankly this plot is straight out of Buck Rogers. I could have knocked that one out in half an hour without even spraining a finger and plugged a few plot holes to boot. The dominant theme in all this is that they are all against us, all those evil/unfriendly planets out there with masses of psychiatrists and income-tax auditors, conspiring against us, and only enough money paid to Scientology will free you. Naturally this sort of thing is attractive to those who tend to paranoia and are already spending a lot of money on tinfoil.

So you can see why Scientologists would not approve of psychiatrists, whose job is to guide people toward a reasonable level of sanity for a reasonable level of money. They also don't approve of Christians, who also tend to recommend a reasonable level of sanity and prefer that you give money to the church. Competition. Anyway, for more on Scientology see Operation Clambake or the Emmons report.


Comments:
I've always thought the idea of looking for answers in works of fiction was questionable, especially second rate works of fiction.
 
Funny that you posted on this- I was just looking at the clambake site last night (between bouts of..never mind).

If only HALF the stuff on that site is true, well, Hubberd was certifiable.
 
**Second rate**? How about fifth-rate?

SC&A, I think you gave it to me. Suddenly yesterday evening I started running a fever and hurting all over. I'm miserable. It must be the thetans exerting their evil influence.
 
I may have SHARED it with you. I've still got it and I'm suffering hallucinations.

I've been dreaming about Souter.
 
You know, sometimes sharing is not caring.

Maybe you should get NG to kayak down.
 
As much as I think scientology is nothing more than an nutty religion started as a college dorm room bet, try stepping back and look at Christianity. In college I dated a Taoists. I tried to explain Christianity and some of the biblical stories to her. To an outside observer, we sound pretty nuts, too. Parting of seas, great floods and arcs with 2 of every species, burning bushes, etc.
 
Any religion has the mythic element, Dingo. In part it's because you are trying to describe reality in words, which is a contradiction in terms. You can say the same thing for Buddhism, etc.

It's like trying to do physics with language instead of mathematics.

I would write a lot more about mysticism and strikingly similar formulations that emerge from different religious traditions, plus what I think distinguishes between a religion and a cult, but I think there are many people who do it better.

However, let me just say firmly that I do not buy this false equivalence between all religions; some attempt to deal with reality (like physics), and some are magical systems. From what I have observed, Scientology began as a scam and has turned into a magical system.

Now, there is a possibility that over several centuries a genuine religion might emerge around it, but of course there has not been time for that to happen yet.
 
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