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Sunday, August 07, 2005

If He's Gay, Just Say Okay

All right, we have to make a confession. We right wingnuts are engaged in a vast Rethuglican conspiracy to get the first possibly gay and definitely plaid-pants wearing person appointed to the Supreme Court. There are even photos of the plaid pants in the paper of record. No doubt the photograph is being airbrushed even now to insert Gannon/Guckert's face in the background.

But here's the truth. We don't care about all that. We have no interest in it and we don't even think it's our business. So if you on the left insist he's gay, then that's okay. We support him anyway. He seems like an intelligent, serious and fairminded guy who cares about the Constitution and the separation of powers to us, and that's all we're after. Ken Mehlman turned us down, alright? He seemed to think it would be a conflict of interest because of his ongoing fling with John Bolton's aggressive hips and artfully bristling facial hair.

We'll even make you on the whacked-out hard left a deal. We'll ignore your belief that Roberts is gay if you'll ignore the fact that he is widely rumored to attend the Catholic church and even (gasp) take communion. Everyone has their dark secrets, okay? Let's just agree to live and let live. A civil society can only be founded on tolerance or widespread carrying of guns. Since you don't like the guns and can't shoot worth a flip, you might want to try tolerance. In contrast, we in Jesusland are often armed and accurate marksmen who are fast losing our patience with all your nonsense.

I'm surprised that you on the left are even surprised, because I have it on the best of authority (Democratic Underground, Kos & Democratic.com) that Bush and Rove were routinely bitchslapping each other in their fight over Gannon/Guckert's favors, that Pickles and Condi are having a passionate lesbian love affair, and that every Republican congressman has at least one gay staffer even if they aren't actively gay themselves. What - you expected that a wholly GLBT administration was going to select anyone else but a gay man for the Supreme Court? Get real, and stop worrying about other people's sex lives and where they go to church.

And since we're not too sure about the American left's ability to keep any deal, we'll go one better. We are just going to ignore the fact that you are all sure he's gay. Just leave Roberts' kids out of it, that's all we ask. Is that too much to ask?

Would you like to go target-shooting with some Democratic gun-nuts while you consider that reasonable request? The Pink Pistols would be glad to teach you how to shoot. If you are afraid of them, you could try the Gay Communist Gun Club. You on the left have got to get over your ingrained, reflexive stereotypes. It will do wonders for your self-esteem.


Comments:
but we're supposed to care about it. if we keep doing things that make it look like we really don't care it makes it more and more difficult to paint us as far right intolerant extreme nut cases.

And since that is what we are(I know that is so since they told me) we should just get on with the business of acting that way. It would be hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that it's serious. It just sounds too much like a Monty Python skit doesn't it?
 
That thing you would close the legend of you your opening putrid? You
better do not have to give the form to the things, the one that down
got to be heavier populates approximately with the part of the left?
Its newspaper is a part of the excrement and therefore of anybody the
law. If you never to come my country I, he guarantees that you he are
not if she adapts he. Central chain, Abdul
 
Abdul, you are reminding me of my extremely aphasic period.

I suspect you disapprove, but of what I'm not sure.

Anyway, peace, long life, and good health and may God watch over you.
 
Tommy - that's the best description I've heard yet. Yes, it's exactly like a Monty Python skit!
 
Interesting how liberals so often engage in gay-bashing, when they're supposed to be tolerant and open-minded. Listen to Air America Radio a few times, and you'll hear plenty of it. Sad.

I don't know what drugs Abdul is on, but to paraphrase the lady in the diner in "When Harry Met Sally," I'll have some of what he's having!
 
Tom, I have tried to listen to Air America, but I keep switching to another station in a frenzy. For one thing, a constant stream of cussing doesn't make for high informational content. I'd rather listen to Jane Fonda all day long.

But I have run across what you are speaking of in various venues and it always shocks me.

As for Abdul, the "central chain" has me a bit worried.
 
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