MaxedOutMama: GAG

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

GAG

In the annals of awesomely boring ways in which to waste one's precious and incredibly short lifespan, business continuity plans for banks at risk of being affected by pandemic flu take top billing. To give you an idea, I have just spent two bitter, sorrowful hours researching possible viral spread through heating and cooling systems. Shoot. ME. Now. Please.

I need a business continuity plan for pandemic flu planning fatigue, because what I'm doing is not working.

So far this evening I've compensated by

Raiding Chief No-Nag's butter pecan ice cream. I don't like butter pecan ice cream, and halfway through I felt really abused when he didn't wander over and look mournful or pathetic. Now I understand why my female dog would rather stare desperately at the male dog's rawhide than eat her own.
Bending a fork a la Uri Geller. It's easy. Don't ever cough up money to a fork-bending psychic.
Attempting to lift weights with my feet while still sitting and typing. Ow, ow, ouch.
Smoking, just because it gave me an excuse to get up and go outside.
Drinking a cup of coffee that I did not want and that just made me sleepier.
Stroking Rescue Dog with my foot. He loves attention, but this was too much. He made me a counteroffer of a walk, but then he finally got up and moved out of foot harassment range so he could take a nap.
Sneaking in a few humorous clicks. Iowahawk has another installment of How to Blog Good, but I found myself sympathizing with Howard Dean's empty-headedness at Tommy's. I feel like another few hours of this would qualify me to be DNC Chair.

So now I'm trying to compensate by plotting revenge against the entire banking industry. After I finish this life-blighting exercise in basic but wordy common sense, I'm going to start a blog about great ways to make legal claims against banks and especially finance companies. I'm salivating at the thought. Most bankers are very honest and decent people, but some deserve to encounter a plague of lawyers. Unfortunately most lawyers don't know what to look for, and of course they don't know how to pick up the numerical errors - but I do. Heh, heh, heh.

Usually when I reach this abyss of abject despair and loathing with a project I finish it quickly. I left the more interesting stuff about collateralization and lending risk for last, so maybe I'll make it through alive. Maybe.

// posted by MaxedOutMama @ 10/20/2005 06:04:00 PM

Comments:

You need MORE duct tape and MORE plastic sheeting.

You know, I wish that were a joke.

# posted by

SC&A : 7:56 AM

How about N95 masks, gloves, plenty of soap and some bleach?

Duct tape is always useful, though.

# posted by

MaxedOutMama : 8:13 AM

MaxedOutMama

Thursday, October 20, 2005

GAG

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