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Tuesday, February 07, 2006


Well, some Russian scientist with a really, really jawbreaking name is predicting that we'll have another Little Ice Age this century. He's not the only one either. Really. Honestly. Seriously.

But no need to worry if you are a Kyoto enthusiast - Al Gore has been explaining that if it gets hotter, it is a sign of global warming, and if it gets colder, it is a sign of global warming. The only thing that would not be a sign of global warming caused by Bush would be if the temperature stayed exactly the same. Which never happens. So be warned - the temperature is going to change, and it will be Bush's fault.

It's up to you how you wish to prepare for this environmental cataclysm - you can either build an ark or stockpile fuel and fur coats. Choose wisely. Reading scientific journals will be no help. Perhaps the I-Ching?

The environmental disaster from global cooling (induced, remember, from global warming) is already evident in Antarctica and bids fair to be extremely troublesome for the unique microbial life there:
The Dry Valleys are the largest ice-free area in Antarctica, a desert region that encompasses perennially ice-covered lakes, ephemeral streams, arid soils, exposed bedrock and alpine glaciers. All life there is microscopic.

The team argues that the cooling trend could adversely affect the unique ecosystems in the region, which live in a niche where a delicate balance between freezing and warmer temperatures allows them to survive and where liquid water is only available during the very brief summer. They argue that a net cooling of the continent could drastically upset that balance.

"We present data from the Dry Valleys representing the first evidence of rapid terrestrial ecosystem response to climate cooling in Antarctica, including decreased lake primary productivity and declining soil invertebrates," they write.
I suggest you start screaming and running in circles now about this environmental catastrophe. There is nothing like having a head start. You might as well also start worrying about this terrifying fact - when it gets colder the CO2 levels naturally drop, and when it gets warmer they naturally rise (which has been observed in recent times). So if it got cold then we'd have less CO2 to make us warm, which would naturally make it even colder, thus dropping the CO2 levels even more. It should be obvious that Bush, for nefarious reasons known only to DU, is trying to freeze us all to death by throwing lots of CO2 into the air and lowering air pollution.

In this forward-looking spirit, Tommy is working on the 2007 blog awards. You should all go participate. Right now the job is hashing out the categories, so go over and hash. We might as well enjoy ourselves before we either roast to death or freeze to death from global warming.

As I understand the global warming thing, the earth is going to get warmer, unless it doesn't. Either way thought it's going to be catastrophic unless we send a lot of money to the people that are warning us about the problem.

In a similar, but not necessarily related vein, I've got some catastrophic issues of my own that will probably bring about the end of the world as we know it. Unless of course you can see your way to sending me a few million dollars.

It's not blackmail, it's for the good of the world.

Well, how long do we have to send the money in? Because that might take me a while....

Are you willing to negotiate?
We are being blackmailed- but that isn't the real issue.

The real issue is about who we allow to speak for us.

Asking Al Gore about Global Warming, etc., etc., is like asking a Canadian botanist how to grow palm trees in northern Saskatchewan in FeBruary.

He's certainly free to voice his opiion- but like Jimmy Carter, it's time to shut Al Gore down.

Growing up in a hotel does give Mr Gore immunity from well deserved and public criticism.
I'm always willing to negotiate. The fact that you see the need for negotiations on this topic is a sign of your wisdom and intellect.
In other words, Tommy, you think I'm a sucker!

SC&A, must you be serious? At this point the only rational response to some of this is to roll on the ground laughing.

I would like to cut CO2 emissions, but I have no delusion that it will have any effect on the temperature for the next 120 years. But 300 years from now it might.
Think? no. Hopeful? yes.
All right. How about $20 for the peace of the world. I can make it a nice new crisp one - any color you like!
Perhaps you'd like it monogrammed?
I don't need it monogrammed. Would you mind autographing it though?
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