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Monday, June 26, 2006

Time Warps

Well, I'm back, playing phone tag at work. My mother is tucked safely away under the supervision of my brother (way closer to her doctor), and I think she is getting better. My brother is solemnly executing the instructions about monitoring her condition, so actually she is getting better care than if she were in the hospital.

I got home on Saturday this weekend. I could complain about the length of the time I spent in the airport and on the runway, but I guess I shouldn't. It seems I got out just in time. And I could complain about the extremely bad medical care my mother's neighbors were receiving, but at least their doctor wasn't on strike. Everything's relative, I suppose, and I left all three in much better shape; my mother's neighbors are supposed to be receiving home visits from nurses and personal care assistants. I did the best I could.

According to Chief No-Nag, my absence lasted at least a month. I pointed out that the house would have been in much worse shape if that were true. However the dogs agreed with him, and maintained that I was away for much longer - possibly several months. They followed me everywhere yesterday, and I had trouble escaping this morning. It was click, click, click as I went into the kitchen, click, click, click as I went into the bathroom to clean it, and a desperate scrabbling of claws every time I neared the front door. Words cannot describe the canine performance if I chanced to wander close to my car.

Thanks to everyone for the support and the great advice.

In another odd time-warping incident, I reviewed the pending work list at my office. In my absence astonishingly little seems to have been accomplished, but, I am informed, everyone was working very hard. It would seem that I was only out of work for about half a day....

I have contacted all my bankers who I had left with proofs and questions, and, imagine this, none have them have quite managed to make progress on those issues. So there is some external, objective evidence for the localized time warp theory. The summary is:
I am considering emailing Al Gore and asking whether this phenomenon is related to global warming. Perhaps the incredible heat massively deformed the planet's surface, and the net effect was similar to travelling faster than light?

Another nice Star Trekkian hypothesis is that our universe has somehow partially merged with another with slightly different physical laws. This is the only possible explanation for Murtha's position, I think. See, in our universe the popularly elected government of Iraq wants the US troops to stay, but in Murtha's universe, perhaps the government of Iraq has asked the US to leave. I prefer to believe the best of everyone, so I am willing to entertain this theory.

ed in texas

It's time dialation cause by running around in circles at very nearly the speed of light.

You get the opposite effect while watching a Ben Affleck movie (or so I'm told).
I'm with the dogs.

Welcome home. Nice to hear things are working out.
LOL, Ed. I doubt that Chief No-Nag was running frantically in circles, but the dogs did look tired.

Correspondingly, suppose those in the office barely moved at all.... Interesting.

SC&A, I'm greatly relieved. It sure is nice to be back.
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