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Friday, July 14, 2006

It Iz Flu Friday

If itz Friday, it must be time for humor. Sadly, we in the blogosphere are still rocked back on our haunches acknowledging that no blogger can trump the Fast for Peas (let no vegetable die for oil) effort.

These are two genuine excerpts from
Cindy Sheehan's blog:
5th of July:
Some of us who will be fasting completely until the troops come home; some will be on liquids only until the troops come home; some will fast for 2 weeks, 2 days; or like me, until at least September 21st.
9th of July:
I find traveling out of the country very challenging Come (sic, she is getting lightheaded from hunger) to being on a fast. When I was on a layover in Madrid on my way to Venice, Italy yesterday, the closest thing I could find to a smoothie to get a little protein was a coffee with vanilla ice cream in it. Traveling for 22 hours is very taxing under normal circumstances--but then again, when have we had normal circumstances since the 2000 and 2004 successful coup attempts that have brought BushCo into power?
If you can't beat her, join her. Extrapolating a bit:
13th of July:
The Paris for Peas coalition has welcomed me warmly, but I can find no Jamba fruit smoothies here. Avocados are unbelievably expensive too - it's further proof that Bush is destroying the world's economy in all peasful nations. Michael Moore sent me an Osterhaus chopper, and in order to get a little protein I chopped up four Big Macs in a McShake. This fast is really taking a toll on me, but I am determined to bring our troops home and see the illegal and immoral regime of Bush impeached, and then chopped up in an Osterhaus chopper.
17th of July:
I can't even find a McDonald's in Cuba, due to the illegal and immoral Bush boycott of the progressyve Cuban paradise. There are no Jamba fruit smoothies here - it appears that Rove's rascally tentacles reach everywhere. It's a conspiracy. The closest thing I could find to a fruit smoothie yesterday was the pina coladas at the hotel bar. It is very important to drink plenty of liquids when you are fasting, so I drank eight of them. I felt very lightheaded, yet I am determined to continue this fast until Rove's head is delivered to me on a pike and Occupied New Orleans is free once more.
23rd of July:
I feel bloated, and I now understand those pictures of starving kids with big bellies. Here at the mosque in London, they have no fruit smoothies. Due to the bloating, the only underwear I could fit into today were the ones I got on Michael Moore's slacker tour with the help of a few safety pins, but fortunately my burka fit well. In order to get a little roughage and protein I chopped up a steak and kidney pie in a pint of dark ale and quaffed it down. What Bush does not understand is that one must adapt to local customs instead of trying to impose an illegal and immoral terrorist regime on the world. Peas march coming up, so I must go. Do not worry about my health - I cannot think of myself when I consider the horrible bombings of innocent Iraqis by our dastardly troops.
28th of July:
The illegal and immoral Bush regime confiscated my Osterhaus chopper blades when I tried to get on the plane from Atlanta to Palm Beach. The fascists at the airport did a pat-down search under my burka because the safety pins set off the metal detector in the Rovian mind-ray booth. Clearly Bush's illegal and immoral regime is trying to obstruct the travels of Fasters for Peas such as myself. This SHALL NOT STAND. Fortunately I discovered that due to my weakened state, Michael Moore's briefs now stay up without the safety pins. I feel that I cannot last much longer physically, but my will is still strong. They have Jamba fruit smoothies in Palm Beach, and I have a date with them and destiny.
3rd of August:
My ankles are swelling, which I'm told is one of the symptoms of severe malnutrition. I felt lightheaded, and I don't think the Jamba fruit smoothies are agreeing with me any more. Fortunately, Code Pink bought me a KitchenAid blender while I was in Palm Beach, and I was able to chop up four avocados in a quart of egg nog today to get a little protein. This gave me enough strength to make it out to the Big And Tall Men's store. I have been wearing the Palm Beach version of the burka, which is flowered, in solidarity with my friends at the mosque in London. However, I needed more briefs and Michael Moore's package hasn't caught up with me yet. The fact that I can only find comfortable underwear at a men's shop is proof of Bushco's illegal, immoral and sadistic war against womyn everywhere.
8th of August:
Just when I thought I would not be able to continue on my speaking tour, I was saved by a recipe for fasting sustenance cake a friend sent me. Michael would not tell me where he got it but he assured me it would fix me right up. I blended half of the cake with a quart of egg nog in order to get my electrolytes back up, and I was able to electrify the crowd here at Hope, Arkansas. I will go on, my dear friends! My next appearance, if I am strong enough to make it, will be on a progressyve cooking show for fasters in Berkeley.

I am womyn, hear me roar.

Comments:
MoM;

"When I was on a layover in Madrid on my way to Venice, Italy yesterday, the closest thing I could find to a smoothie to get a little protein was a coffee with vanilla ice cream in it."- Momma Moonbat the Meat-puppet

What the heck is this? Has she finagled Starbucks into corporate sponsoring a fast?

"The Fast For Peace...brought to you by LA Weight Loss System!"

What next? GMC sponsoring another tedious moonbat bus ride?

Yeesh!
 
Your guess is as good as mine. If it were me, I'd be going for all the commercial tie ups I could. Frankly, I think the kitchen appliance companies would love the exposure.

It does give new meaning to the word "fasting", doesn't it? You can see why these types feel that the Catholics and Buddhists are hopelessly outmoded. When they fast they don't eat. This is the new, progressyve and enlightened form of fasting.
 
I sure hope Parker & Stone are listening in; I'd like to see this Fast For Peace (Bow Before My Moral Superiority) get the South Park treatment when they start running the next batch of episodes.

-----

On fasting, I'm Catholic and follow the fast rules for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday (no meat, only one small meal).

I used to have a Muslim co-worker (North African) who'd tease us Catholics about it -- "You call that 'fasting'? We have Ramadan -- no food or water at all from sunrise to sunset!"
 
And for a whole month, too. It's particularly rough given the climate a lot of them live in.

I know a lot of Christians who fast for a day or two with no food, but they do drink water.
 
Wow.

Bilge is right- we are witnessing the coprification of CS and Company.
 
Did you mean "corporatizion"? It could, of course, work either way.
 
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