Tuesday, August 08, 2006
The Funky News Roundup
Merciless Ming Lawsuit:
A man who sued the city for entering his apartment without a search warrant after he was mauled by his 450-pound pet Siberian tiger demonstrated a lot of nerve in taking the city to court, a judge said as he threw the lawsuit out.Yates is lucky he's not messing with the German police, who took custody of a man and his money for giving it away. Ordnung muss sein!
Police removed the 10-foot-long tiger, Ming, and an alligator, Al, from Yates' East Harlem apartment. Yates served 3 1/2 months in jail after pleading guilty to reckless endangerment.
Police in Darmstadt said they were alerted at lunchtime to a man sitting on a bench in front of a bank and handing out notes. He had the money stuffed into plastic bags and his pockets, and some of it blew away.Put her photograph in the dictionary next to the definition of chutzpah:
Police decided to hold on to the rest of the money temporarily. They told the man, whose name was not released, to come back and collect it once he sobered up.
A 64-year-old woman faces excommunication for seeking the priesthood in an unsanctioned ordination ceremony in Pittsburgh last month, the Milwaukee Archibishop said.Cause, like, the archbishop should absolutely not be concerned with people ordaining themselves in his diocese. What the heck do archbishops have to do with priests? It's obviously none of his business! Lame, lady. Lame. I'm waiting for this group to announce that they have excommunicated the Pope for heresy. They'll do it right after they announce the beatification of Susan Sontag.
(And he discussed the situation with her last year, but now...)
"That doesn't mean I'm excluded from the church. Only I can exclude myself," she said.
Vandenberg said Monday that she was startled by the letter and surprised that Dolan had "spent so much time and energy" on it when "other important things" might demand his attention.
Al Gore wins one and loses one. First, he will no doubt be batting around New York this winter in a great state of excitement over the manatee moving into NYC's waters. I hope Al is out there with a video camera getting footage for his next film. (It will not mention that in the last warm period in the 1930's, manatees showed up in NY waters too.) After all, the Bushicanes have not materialized this year, so Al will have to cut those lovely spliced footages of trees snapping, oil rigs, Bush speaking, and devastated shorelines:
Forecasters now expect there to be 12 to 15 named storms and seven to nine hurricanes, the National Hurricane Center said.Hey, I say that if Bush was going to get the blame, he should get the credit too. Send a post card to the White House with your thanks to our President for stopping the hurricanes.
Government scientists made their first prediction in May, saying the season could produce 13 to 16 named storms, and eight to 10 hurricanes, four to six of which could become major.
After all, we have been assured that what happened to New Orleans was entirely the result of Bush's failure to live up to the Kyoto treaty, even though Congress had to sign it. And we have been guaranteed by many, many fine "climate scientists" (worried about their grant money drying up), that global warming is causing hurricanes. And we have also been assured that this is a very, very warm year. So it follows that Bush is single-handedly holding back the hurricanes for his own nefarious, death-dealing purposes, as dictated by Rove and Cheney.
The Democrats will say that Bush is just manipulating the weather to hide the dire effects of Bush-induced global warming. I say we should put him on retainer to do that job for the rest of his life. George W Bush, defending his country against hurricanes. Kind of makes you want to sniffle, doesn't it? What a man! What a president! Give us some cheap oil, and we'll be happy!
Personally, I think the warming thing is BS, as in people who don't know the difference between heating a system and putting energy into it...however:
Third named tropical storm (letter C) has occurred as early as July 21 (Celia, '66) and as late as Sept 15 (Carla, '61) with the preponderance falling...in the first half of August. Those numbers are based on NHC archives with 10 or more named storms.(I'm close enough to the gulf that I pay attention to this stuff.)
It's early in the season yet, for sure. But I don't think we're going to have 15 storms either.
But one that hits in the right place is bad enough! It's not the number of them, it's their tracks.
I think the weather mostly goes in cycles. We had a very warm spell in the 1930's, and we're having a similar one now. Of course, the 1930's was followed by a 20 year cool-down.
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