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Monday, December 18, 2006

Add To It

I'm sorry to be so silent, but several things came up and I'm pushing hard.

So here's something for you. The original was posted (and augmented) at Bankers Online:
My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked as a lumberjack but I couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.
Next I tried working in a muf(f)ler factory, but this was exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef, but didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker but any way I sliced it, I just couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was as a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to be a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
I became a fisherman, but couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to find work with a pool company, but the work was too draining.
So then I got a job with a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
My last job was at Starbucks, but it was the same old grind.
Eventually, I got a job as a historian, but there was no future in it.
A commenter there added:
And now you're a banker......until you lose interest.
I think it could use some further additions. How about...
I was successful at the bakery, but the owner just wouldn't give me a slice of the pie, or
I tried trading futures, but my past trades drove me out of the business?
Update: Added by commenter "I thought about belly dancing, but I just couldn't stomach it."

how about...

I thought about belly dancing, but I just couldn't stomach it.
I wanted to short volatility, but I didn't like what was implied.

I know, i know I got to get out more...
I tried a career in software, but found it was just too hard.
I tried being a urologist, but couldn't get the hang of it.

So I tried being a house painter, but it didn't stick.

So I tried to be a cosmologist, but it was just too much for me.
I was the human cannonball in a circus, but I was replaced by a man of higher caliber.
I tried accounting, but things just didn't add up.
I burst out laughing!!!

These are wonderful. "A man of higher caliber"!!!!
I worked in a pottery factory until I got fired.
I also got fired as an artillery officer.
I tried making ladders, but it rung me out.
The trapeze troop I trained with let me go.
I tried to assemble elevators, but left when they wouldn’t give me a raise.
I worked at Dole until I got canned.
I worked in a sawmill until I got board.
I tried telemarketing but got hung up on my work.
I tried Zen and nearly had it all.
I assembled washing machines until the company hung me out to dry.
I sold lingerie until the day I got a pink slip.
I replaced truck wheels, but the job was two tiring.
I could have been a comedian, but it just wasn’t funny.
I tried being a preacher, but I couldn’t save enough.
I sold bottled water until the company was liquidated.
I spoofed Ah-nold, up until I was terminated.
I tried working for UPS and FedEx, but found I just couldn’t delivery.
So I started a blog, and now I’ve got a career that’s write for me. -cp
Cold Pizza, you've definitely written the last line! "So I started a blog, and now I’ve got a career that’s write for me."
I used to make clothes for nuns, but it got to be habit forming.
I thought raising rabbits would be a calm & peaceful business, but it was actually hare raising.
Then there was my job as an elevator operator - it had its ups and downs.
I wanted to work in a lens grinding factory, but I was afraid I'd make a spectacle of myself.
Aggh - hare raising!!! How does anyone come with something like that? ROFL.
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