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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Something To Get You Thinking

There is tons of economic news, but I have no time to write about it! Try Calculated Risk, and this Bloomberg article on commercial paper.

Instead, Sam The Shopplifting Seagull (hat tip Viola of Spiritual Things Matter) reminds you that there are always opportunities out there if you look hard enough. The article. Some Video. According to BBC, Sam only likes cheese Doritos. If the Doritos folks aren't smart enough to make this into an ad, there's no hope left for them. They'll probably be sued by PETA anyway for poisoning wildlife, so they ought to at least try to cover their expenses.

It's important to watch the video.Sam acts casually at first while he's outside the shop, enters with a "just looking" saunter, makes his selection with aplomb, and then turns toward the door with a "let's see, what else" air ("whaddaya mean, of course I was gonna pay for it!"). Once he's out the door and subject to being nabbed by a copper he speeds up. My impression is that this a hardened criminal with nerves of steel. Clearly, this jailbird is feeling no shame.

My guess is that there is going to be big market for shoplifting animals for advertisements soon. Finally, a use for your girlfriend's chihuahua!

Shoplifting animals are actually not that rare. Where I went to college, there was a pair of Newfoundlands who had formed the habit of shopping at the corner store. The clerks kept a clipboard by the cash register, and when the dogs went shopping they would note down the canine purchases and bill the owner.

I found out one day when this huge black dog pushed past me, went down the bread aisle, grabbed a loaf, and marched off. The clerk told me that several times the dogs had taken canned hams. They also sometimes chose oreo cookies. So the trick to making a profit on one of these animals is obviously to teach them to concentrate on ONE BRAND ONLY, because the owners weren't making a penny from those dogs. Quite the contrary.

I bet you could teach a parrot to do it quite easily.

Small potatoes,

now if I could train some mice to make off with diamond rings from a jewelry store......
I don't like potatoes, but you can squash them into your back cavity.
Do you agree?

Bill, another delphic comment.

Vader, I think the truly expensive stuff would be too heavy for the mice. Also, jewelers can afford to buy mouse traps. The trick is to get your mice to steal Ding Dongs, and then license your trained mouse rights to the Ding Dong manufacturer?
ding dong or rather ding dung?
The mighty power of SGUFALA will help you!

Truly yours,

Sguffalo Bill
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