Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A Mole In The Ceiling
This is a completely non-political, non-economic post.
I fear that some Obamabot (they do seem obsessed) may think that somehow I am telling a parable designed to justify racist oligarchy, so in case anyone is confused about the true nature of this post, I drew the picture. The foreshortening is making the mole appear larger than it is in real life.
Since yesterday I kept hearing these little crunchy-crunchy noises that are the dread of all householders. I could not figure out where they were coming from, because they seemed to be inside the walls.
I was making coffee a bit ago, and a mole chewed a hole through the kitchen ceiling and kept poking its little head out at me. I was so astounded that first I simply stood and stared. Then I went closer.
The mole appeared to be curious about the action in the kitchen, and it disappeared and reappeared several times. I got a very good look at its tiny, recessed eyes, cylindrical nose and upper body, and puzzled demeanor. Maybe it wanted coffee, or maybe it just wanted to know what was making those funny bubbling sounds that are disturbing to every mole householder.
It was a mole, without question. A rather pretty silvery one, as moles go. It looked large and healthy, but perhaps a bit confused or irritated by finding a squatter making bubbling noises in its new dwelling.
The mole is in the attics, and it seems to be getting from one to another. In plaintive astonishment I ask:
- How does a mole get into the attics?
- How does one get rid of it once it's in there?
- Do mousetraps work?
- Should I try bacon as a bait?
- Are there likely to be more?
This is a true story. A friend of mine had a squirrel above one of his ceilings. So he drilled a small hole in the ceiling, partially inserted a pretzel stick into the hole, and watched the stick disappear as it ate the food. So he repeated the trick, but this time he put his 22 rifle over the visible portion of the rod, and pulled the trigger. End of problem! Shhh don't tell anyone but this fellow went on to become the 1st Selectman of his town about 10 years later.
Big John - Let me just say that I have no intention of ever hanging out in YOUR attic! Wouldn't the roof and insulation be somewhat impacted even with rat shot?
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