Tuesday, September 11, 2012
But because it made me laugh, I thought I'd share this NYT column about medical cannabis and parenting. The part that tickled my funnybone:
So, in 2010, I resolved to seek medical help. I received a thorough physical examination from my CannaMed doctor, who checked not only my pulse but my blood pressure as well. Examining the results, he concluded that I would benefit enormously from a cannabis-based treatment regimen and recommended that I use a brownie-based form of the drug to avoid the lung irritation associated with other modes of dose administration.
- Wow, that's some thorough physical, isn't it?
- Some of us find that just the brownies do the same thing. How about a double-blind test in which a control group gets just the brownies? I volunteer to be in the control group! At the same time we should run another group that studies walnut-adulterated brownies in comparison to hemp-adulterated brownies. About 20 years should do it. I volunteer to be in that one as well.
- Is there any person who has ever consulted this doctor who wasn't deemed to benefit enormously from a cannabis-based treatment regimen?
- My dog is trying to convince me that a pork-bone based treatment regimen is the cure for all canine ills.
- If pork bones are not available, she claims that walnut-adulterated brownies are a close substitute.
- Under ObamaCare, if I can get my WannaChocDoc to write a prescription for a daily walnut-adulterated brownie treatment regimen along with daily coffee, will my insurer have to pay for it?
I find that all manner of ills are alleviated by taking sufficient sufficient quantities down-time featuring TV and Cheetos. Naturally, once I can get a prescription I'll be submitting a bill to the insurance company for the treatment as well as the lost income from snoozing through the work day.
Really, by the time you are 90, whatever works and doesn't turn you into a raging maniac or a drooling dementia patient ought to be fine.
Neil - I have never found Cheetos curative, but to each his own. Maybe you can market it as the secret Amazonian miracle cure - "Orange Dust".
Seriously. Poo Poo Point is an actual place in Washington State, lol. Fantastic hike! :)
It's not the Cheetos so much as the down-time that counts. Popcorn works, too.
As for appetite stimulant, a dry martini works great--smoking is optional.
The need for a sedated populace should render prescriptions useless. If I have schedule an appointment and be inconvenienced to get my soma, I'll just do without the soma.
By the way, I ought to mention that a dry martini works wonders on back pain, too. Juniper is an anti-inflammatory!
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