Monday, January 07, 2013
It's National Refuse A Cabinet Appointment Day!
Here, I'll start you off:
Regrettably, I must decline to accept the appointment of Secretary of the Treasury because I just can't keep a straight face when depositing a 1/4 ounce platinum coin worth a trillion bucks at the Fed and Snarky Mark would give more amusing press conferences anyway.
See how much fun it is? I dithered for while between that one and refusing the appointment of Secretary of State on the grounds that I just can't fall down that much convincingly.
The rules are:
1) You may only refuse ONE cabinet appointment that you have not been offered. Any more might be in bad taste.
2) Your reason must convey the subtle implication that you consider yourself not only better than the current appointee, but better than all possible appointees. This should not be too blatantly asserted, or you might perhaps be accused of a lack of humility. Remember, you are attempting to gracefully assert your ineffable brilliance in a self-deprecating manner.
I must refuse appointment as Secretary of Homeland Security, as I simply don't have the poker face required to claim that intrusive groping is the same thing as security.
However, I know nothing about diversity training or proper protocol for quartering LBGT personnel.
Furthermore, I have no experience with known unknowns and unknown unknowns. Nor have I ever known anyone who could find his way arounnd the Pentagon without a GPI firmly in hand. I don't have a GPI.
Thus, you must conclude that I'm not the person for the job.
Also never underestimate the power of really knowing how to drink at the Officer's Club.
MOM, have you been reading my old service records? Damn, no privacy left at all. (:>)